The most fearsome and cruel naval master on board! Commander SASSAFRAS!

Commander Sassafras is a member of C.L.O.N.C. and the mind behind their military strategy.


Commander Sassafras is loud in both attitude as appearance and behaves melodramatically to a theatrical extent. When he steers his ship, the stool he stands on emits light underneath him, most likely to make him look menacing. His hobbies of polishing his pretend medals and strategically "playing" with Glump toys reveal him to have a calmer, almost child-like side.


Commander Sassafras is a pink monster with a big red nose and balloon-like eyes of which the irises are of different size. He is sometimes shown to focus his eyes, most likely to illustrate more clearly what direction he looks at. He wears an out of proportion giant purple split back coat with massive golden epaulettes. On his left chest, he wears three medals.

In Moshi Monsters, his artwork is mirrored, causing his medals to appear on the wrong side. It appears correctly in Katsuma Unleashed where he has a 3D body. The collar of his white blouse stands tall, taking up the space between his body and his Captain's hat. His hat has the symbol of C.L.O.N.C., making it appear more like a pirate hat. Peculiar in the hat's design are the two still-smoking cannon rammers sticking out of each side. Cannon rammers were used to push cannonballs into cannons, which the design choice puts more emphasis on Sassafras's overall pirate-like and/or warfare theme. The rammers emit more smoke the huffier Sassafras gets.

The stripe ranking on his arm funnily displays the rank of a Corporal. A Commander (of the British Navy) has three straight stripes with the upper one having a loop on top. The further rank confusion comes up with the baton (the brown stick) he carries. The baton is traditionally the sign of a Field Marshal (highest officer of the Field) or a similar very high-ranking military officer, which Sassafras as Commander, and especially the stripes of a Corporal, is not. But as Sassafras is the head of C.L.O.N.C's military system, supposedly overseeing all three categories of troops (Air Forces, Navies and Armies), he likely is highest in command, but just got his rank double wrong.



NOW HEAR THIS! Raging mad and power crazy, Commander Sassafras is the seething buffoon responsible for C.L.O.N.C.'s military strategy. When he's not losing his temper, foaming at the mouth and SHOUTING REALLY LOUDLY, this red-faced rascal can be found shuffling toy glumps around his Campaign table and polishing his pretend medals.
Shouty Sassafras can't stand bad trombonists.


In the fiction of Missing on a Star, Sassafras was the 'Password of The Day' in the Squeal of Fortune and was introduced right after by Ned as part of his show. If Sassafras was in on it or even aware of this is unknown. He demands everyone to return to their cells to which you use your gloop ship to attack his ship. Upon losing, he screams "ABANDON SHIP!!!" and does so.

In Music Island Missions Ned says the main quote from the game (as seen above), additionally with

The most fearsome and cruel naval master on board! Commander SASSAFRAS! And boy do we have a treat for you tonight! Here he is! Joining us liiiiiiiiiiive onstage - Commander Sassafras himself!

Zommer remarks to find "Sassafras" a 'stupid' name to which Furi agrees and continue to give Sassafras nicknames, referring to him as "Commander Cuckoo" and "Sassy-pants".

In Issue 25, the story of "Missing on a Star" as told by Elder Furi, shows a picture of Sassafras and his sidekick Bratworst, but the latter is not mentioned nor present in the fiction surrounding Missing on a Star.

Commander Sassafras returns in The Secret Treasure of Potion Ocean where he now sails the sea and fights the Marooned Five over treasure.

As is usual tradition for C.L.O.N.C., The Daily Growl and Moshi Monsters Magazine are taken over during Halloween. In Issue 35, in which Sassafras had taken over the "Real Life" section, he was asked by Dr. Strangeglove to look for suitable C.L.O.N.C. hideouts on earth. The location he sought out are all reported to be haunted and although befitting C.L.O.N.C. aesthetic Strangeglove questioned the usefulness and Sassafras had a frightened breakdown.

He appears as the 4th Boss in Katsuma Unleashed, together with Bratworst.


  • In his mini-games, one has to avoid his cannons, and the hits a player takes are expressed in a bar at the bottom of the screen, each hit lowers the bar. However, if the bar is at its lowest, the game keeps going on and there is no "Game Over" screen, which makes it impossible to lose the game.
    • This stands in contrast towards a similar mini-game called "Strange-pong" in Super Weapon Showdown, in which you have to avoid bombs and hit Dr. Strangeglove with his own Glumps. If hit enough times, it is possible to get a "Game Over" screen, in which Strangeglove is depicted as the winner.